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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer.
A deadly Texas Tornardo knows better than to damage or destroy any property or anything that belongs to Chuck Norris or any of his family if the Tornardo knows what is best for it because Chuck Norris is God.
Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic.
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"
A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?"
The father thought for a moment. "Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."
How do you make a blonde forget something?
You blow in her ear.
Chuck Norris once skewered a man with the Eiffel tower.
The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.
He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look !" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. "And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Services are pending.
Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Q: What does a cat sleep on?
A: A caterpillow.
I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
Yo mamma so hairy when she lifted her armpit she said, "Welcome to the jungle."
Q: What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
A: "Odor in the court!"
What do the bathroom doors at the funeral home say?
His and Hearse.
Why is a train like a stick of gum?
One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew.
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
A: Had a byte!
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone. He is now playing the whore-Monica.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
Yo mama so fat, her patronis is a cake.
Yo mom is so fat when she walked in front of the window, we lost sun light for 7 days.
What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
Yo mama jokes are old and overused just like yo mama!
Subject: PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD ...
GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FLOOD Crawford, Texas (AP)
A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where the books were kept. Both books have been lost.
A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had almost finished coloring the second one. The White House tried to call FEMA but there was no answer.
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Someone stepped on the mouse.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 39 seconds.
Yo mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Yo momma so poor the only letters she knows in the alphabet are "EBT."
Yo mama is so bald when she takes a shower she gets brainwashed.
Q: Which state has the most questions?
Q: Did you hear about the guy with French asthma?
A: He could only catch his breath in snatches.
How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!
The Amazing Magical Snake
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms.