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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
Q: What city are you in when you drop your waffle on the beach?
A: Sandy Eggo.
Q: What do you call two nuts on the wall?
Q: What do you call two nuts on the chest? A: Chestnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on your chin?
A: A Blowjob.
Yo momma is so stupid that when thieves broke in and stole the tv, she ran outside and yelled to them,"Hey, you forgot the remote!"
Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
There were 99 people on a boat, and then it turned over. How many were left?
Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.
When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.
The stock market monitors Chuck Norris.
Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
A father believed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son...
"When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
Without looking up from his game, the boy pointed out, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."
A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving.
While reading him his Miranda Rights, the female officer tells the man: "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you."
"Boobs" the drunk replied.
Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!
Q: What do you say to a black man in a three piece suit?
A: "Will the defendant please rise?"
Your momma is like a hardware store: 10 cents a screw.
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey.
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
There once was an entrepreneur who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the candidate that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."
The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."
The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.
The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
My wife went to the East Indies for her holidays.
No, she went by plane.
How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.
Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
Q: Why do Jewish women love circumcised men?
A: Because they like 20 percent off.
There were two retired racehorses living in a pasture. Their names wereRazzle and Dazzle. Every day they would race from one end of the pastureto the other. On the first day, Razzle pulled out ahead, then Dazzle caughtup, then Razzle pulled away, then Dazzle started running even faster,Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle, Dazzle, and Razzle won by a nose.The next day, Razzle pulled out ahead, then Dazzle caught up, then Razzlepulled away, then Dazzle started running even faster, Razzle, Dazzle,Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle, Dazzle, and Razzle won by a nose.The third day, Razzle pulled out ahead, then Dazzle caught up, then Razzlepulled away, then Dazzle started running even faster, Razzle, Dazzle, Razzle,Dazzle, Razzle, Dazzle, and Razzle won by a nose. A dog who had beenwatching them race day after day finally asked them, "Why is it that Razzle always wins by a nose?" And Razzle said to Dazzle, "Look,Dazzle, a talking dog!"
What did the ghost say on December 25th?
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Q: How does a cow add and subtract?
A: With a cowculator.
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
Q: What does half of an apple look like?
A: The other half.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama is so poor she waves a popsicle around for air conditioning.
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
Yo mama is so dark that she was riding a motorcycle and got a ticket for tinted windows!
Yo mama is so fat, she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge.
Blonde: "What is the second to last letter of the alphabet?"
Blonde: "Because I want to know. Why do you have to question everything?!"
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"