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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
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I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
A.Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge
Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, 'What are we going to do?'
'Nothing,' said Ben, 'The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.'
Q: What the difference between your first and second honeymoon?
A: Niagara and Viagra.
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
I told my wife that I would get a tattoo on my pecker of a one-million dollar bill. This way she can blow a million bucks without leaving the house.
A: Change.
"No," replies Werner. "But I knew where I was!"
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"
The other night I played strip poker with my old lady: she stripped and I poked her.
He had a loco motive.
Tiger Woods plays 18 holes. Both on and off the golf course.
Yo momma is so fat she makes free willy look like a tic-tac!
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"
How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count? She has to chew before she swallows.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall St Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.
He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.
Yo mama is so dirty that when she takes a bath she becomes skinny.
God is a woman. I know this because if God was a man, He would have created the whole population female, and only one man. Then, He would have invited that male to the top of the mountain to look down at all the beautiful females. Then God would have gotten jealous and killed him.
What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
The man rushed into the hospital, grabbed the first doctor that he could find, and screamed, "Doctor, Doctor!! A man just walked out of the hospital and dropped dead on the sidewalk!! What should I do?"
The doctor thought about this dilemma for a few moments, then suggested, "Spin him around. Make it look like he was coming in."
Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"
Boss: "Certainly not!"
Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What do eggs do for fun?
A: Karayolke (karaoke).
Yo momma so stupid she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
Yo mama so dirty she had to wipe her feet before she walked outside.