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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
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What do you say to
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?
Coagulations!
Category: College
There is no theory of
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Category: Celebrity
I never knew the meaning

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

Category: Relationship jokes
Chuck Norris recently had the
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Category: Celebrity
A science teacher tells his

A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."

Category: Blonde jokes
What do you call a
What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds.
Category: College
Q What did the zombie

Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"

Category: Word play jokes
Q What did the zombie

Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"

Category: Clean jokes
Q What has four legs
Q: What has four legs and several fins?
A: A happy bear!
Category: Animal
Why do married men gain

Why do married men gain weight and bachelors don’t? The bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.

Category: Relationship jokes
A woman was at the

A woman was at the pharmacy and asked, “Can I get Viagra here?” The old pharmacist replied, “Yes.” She asked, “Can I get it over the counter?” He responded, “If you give me two of them, you can.”

Category: Boycott these jokes
After eight days of backpacking
After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.

"Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
Category: Sports
If 4 out of 5

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

Category: Miscellaneous jokes
Q Why did God invent

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Category: Miscellaneous jokes
Q What does a blonde
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Category: Hair color
There once was an entrepreneur
There once was an entrepreneur who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the candidate that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."

The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."

The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.

The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"
Category: Animal
The opening scene of the
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Category: Celebrity
A man once asked Chuck
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Category: Celebrity
Q Why did the scarecrow

Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

Category: Word play jokes
I love pressing F5 It

I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

Category: Office jokes
Why did the computer squeak
Why did the computer squeak?
Someone stepped on the mouse.
Category: Geeky
Catholic guy goes into the
Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days."
The priest replies "Get out. You're on my side."
Category: Bar
A man a lawyer a
A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Category: Animal
A blind guy on a

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

Category: Blonde jokes
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to
Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
Category: Celebrity
The tenderest love is between

The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.

Category: Boycott these jokes
Q How did the ghost

Q: How did the ghost go on vacation?
A: By scareplane!

Category: Clean jokes
Chuck Norris did in fact
Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
Category: Celebrity
Two Irishmen friends are drinking

Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"

Category: Miscellaneous jokes
A Handicapped parking sign does
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Category: Celebrity
There was a blonde who
There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"

"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382".

"Wow!" said the herder.

"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?" queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Category: Animal
Q Have you ever had

Q: Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
A: Neither have they.

Category: Food jokes
A kangaroo walks into a
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here. The kangaroo says, At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand.
Category: Bar
Two students were arguing when

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Category: School jokes
On his birthday Chuck Norris
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Category: Celebrity
Chuck Norris counted to infinity
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice
Category: Celebrity
A blonde a brunettes and
A blonde, a brunettes and a redhead all tried out for the same job painting road stripes.

The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.

At the end of the first day the redhead had painted 3 miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles.

The boss was so exited he told her to keep it up and the job was hers.

The next day the redhead painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles and the blonde 4 miles.

The boss told her not to worry, "You still have a good lead.

So, on the third day the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5 miles and the blonde only one mile.

The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good."

She said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away."
Category: Hair color
Q Why do mermaids wear

Q: Why do mermaids wear seashells?
A: Because they grew out of their B shells.

Category: Miscellaneous jokes
Yo momma so stupid when

Yo momma so stupid when she went to Subway, she asked for a ticket to Chicago.

Category: Yo momma jokes
Yo mama is so black
Yo mama is so black when she went outside the street lights turned on!
Category: Yo mama