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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
Q.How Do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 simple steps
A.Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge
Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, 'What are we going to do?'
'Nothing,' said Ben, 'The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.'
Chuck Norris can squeeze blood from a stone. He must feed his children.
The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.
Q: What the difference between your first and second honeymoon?
A: Niagara and Viagra.
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
I told my wife that I would get a tattoo on my pecker of a one-million dollar bill. This way she can blow a million bucks without leaving the house.
Yo Mama so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet!
Q: What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Werner Heisenberg is driving down the street when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to the car, knocks on the window, and when Werner rolls it down, asks, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?"
"No," replies Werner. "But I knew where I was!"
A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how do you start a flood?"
The other night I played strip poker with my old lady: she stripped and I poked her.
Why did the engineer drive the backwards?
He had a loco motive.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Tiger Woods plays 18 holes. Both on and off the golf course.
Chuck Norris was orginally casted as the main character for salt but then they changed it to Angelia Jolie, look at her face now.
Yo momma is so fat she makes free willy look like a tic-tac!
Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.
Q: What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A: A lawn moo-er.
Teacher: "Where was the Constitution of India signed?"
Student: "At the bottom of the page!"
How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count?
She has to chew before she swallows.
A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Chuck Norris has a roundhouse-kick app for his iPhone 8.0
Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor? Because he had no arms or legs. Why? Because he is a potato.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall St Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
I just bought a cured ham; I wonder what it had.
Chuck Norris easily won the Iditarod dog sled race by pulling a sled load of 16 dogs, 800 pounds of supplies and with a dead sperm whale chained behind it.
How does an elephant climb a tree?
He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.
Yo mama is so dirty that when she takes a bath she becomes skinny.
God is a woman. I know this because if God was a man, He would have created the whole population female, and only one man. Then, He would have invited that male to the top of the mountain to look down at all the beautiful females. Then God would have gotten jealous and killed him.
What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted.
A man was walking into the hospital for a routine examination the other day. Just as he reached the main entrance, another man, who had just exited the hospital, keeled over on the sidewalk. The first man ran towards the second and noticed that he was obviously dead.
The man rushed into the hospital, grabbed the first doctor that he could find, and screamed, "Doctor, Doctor!! A man just walked out of the hospital and dropped dead on the sidewalk!! What should I do?"
The doctor thought about this dilemma for a few moments, then suggested, "Spin him around. Make it look like he was coming in."
Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"
Boss: "Certainly not!"
Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: What do eggs do for fun?
A: Karayolke (karaoke).
Yo momma so stupid she stuck a phone up her butt and thought she was making a booty call!
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
Yo mama so dirty she had to wipe her feet before she walked outside.