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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
Coagulations!
I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.
A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."
Night manager at McDonalds.
Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"
Q: What did the zombie girl say to the zombie boy?
A: "Are you going to kiss me or rot?"
A: A happy bear!
Why do married men gain weight and bachelors don’t? The bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.
A woman was at the pharmacy and asked, “Can I get Viagra here?” The old pharmacist replied, “Yes.” She asked, “Can I get it over the counter?” He responded, “If you give me two of them, you can.”
"Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"
I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
A: What, what?
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."
The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."
The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I a glad that we discussed this important question.
The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"
Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.
Someone stepped on the mouse.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days."
The priest replies "Get out. You're on my side."
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."
The tenderest love is between two homosexual men with hemorrhoids.
Q: How did the ghost go on vacation?
A: By scareplane!
Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382".
"Wow!" said the herder.
"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Q: Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
A: Neither have they.
Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job.
At the end of the first day the redhead had painted 3 miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles.
The boss was so exited he told her to keep it up and the job was hers.
The next day the redhead painted 5 miles, the brunette 5.6 miles and the blonde 4 miles.
The boss told her not to worry, "You still have a good lead.
So, on the third day the redhead had painted 6 miles, the brunette 5 miles and the blonde only one mile.
The boss was so disappointed, he asked the blonde, "What went wrong, you were doing so good."
She said, "Well, that bucket of paint keeps getting further and further away."
Q: Why do mermaids wear seashells?
A: Because they grew out of their B shells.
Yo momma so stupid when she went to Subway, she asked for a ticket to Chicago.