We make your day better! 
The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Doris!
Doris who?
Doris locked that’s why I am knocking!
A: A windshield viper.
Why did the little boy bury his flashlight? Because the batteries died.
A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
Growing up, my parents never grounded me unless they were really really mad. I can remember the first time they caught me drinking under age. Mom freaked out and grounded me for a month, but I guess that was a reasonable response for a parent of a second grader.
A: At the calf-eteria.
If pigs could fly, your mom would have wings.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said, "50 points for putting it back together correctly -- and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."
Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.
A magician was driving down the road... then he turned into a driveway.
Jose and Hose B.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Your mama so fat when she fell out of the bed she fell off both sides.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I work at a local fast food joint. It cracks me up when a fat ass customer orders a quadruple stacked cheeseburger, with extra sauce, a ton of extras, extra large fries with extra sauce, and then orders a small diet coke.
Q: Did your hear about the man with no arms and no legs who swam across a swimming pool?
A: They call him clever dick.
Q: Why did the painting go to jail?
A: It was framed.
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," the fellow replied.
"Tell me about it," the priest said.
The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a delivery man for UPS. Yesterday I was making a delivery in the affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the door opened and there stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds. She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her perfect figure. And, she asked if I would like to come in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted. Oh, how I lusted," replied the man.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, father? What do you think my reward might be?" the fellow asked.
The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would be appropriate, you jackass."
Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass.
"How much for Engineer brain?"
"3 dollars an ounce."
"How much for other generic profession brain?"
"4 dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"100 dollars an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
A: Roast twerky!
Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
A dirty double crosser.
A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
The management is from Intel,
The design and hardware is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.
In Computer Hell:
The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and hardware,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.
2nd Police Officer: "Who?"
1st Police Officer: "Janet Jackson!"
2nd Police Officer: "What did she do? Was she speeding?"
1st Police Officer: "Nah, she had one headlight out."
MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When they asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
Q: Where do you read news about dead sluts? A: In the hobitchuaries.
Have you ever noticed how humans are a lot like lemmings? Try standing at a crosswalk, and then before the light even turns green, take a step and see how many people actually step out along with you. And how when you are waiting with a crowd outside a locked business, there is always one person that comes along, pushes through the crowd and tries the locked door. As if everyone was just standing there for fun! Come on people!
What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
Make me one with everything.
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog?
If number two pencils are so popular why are they still number two?