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The content of these pages brings together external sources, whether they are written pieces, online publications, suggestions from our visitors or local folklore. Of course, it is not intended to be offensive for anyone and it should be treated accordingly.
Moreover, we are looking forward to receiving suggestions and new jokes from our readers or anyone else willing to actively participate in the content development process.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Yo momma so fat when she auditioned for Star Wars she was cast as outer space.
A substitute for a Catholic priest is hearing confessions. He is confused about what to recommend a confessor should do to rectify guilt sustained, after doing a sexual favor for her boss. He sticks his head out of the confessional and asks a nearby alter boy what the father gives for a bl*wjob. The alter boy responds, "Usually a Snickers and a ride home."
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!
A priest, a politician, and a clown, walk into the bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Yo mama is so stupid when the judge said, Order! Order!" she said, "Fries and coke please."
What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? "Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant."
You might be a redneck if your home has more miles on it than your car.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed British scientists dug to a depth of 2000 meters, and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read:
"British archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots."
One week later, Texas newspapers reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 5000 meters in West Texas, Texas A&M scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have, therefore, concluded that 5000 years ago Texas inhabitants were already using wireless technology."
Q: What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A: A buck an ear (buccaneer).
Q: Why did George Byron suffer from arthritis? A: Because he was such a rheumantic.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.
Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.
Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked!
Yo mama is so dirty that when she takes a bath she becomes skinny.
Yo mama is so old that that when she was in school there was no history class!
What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
...using a guitar hero controller.
Your mama is so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A: "Annex" marks the spot.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
A: Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.
Q: What do you call a gay Indian?
A: Taj Mahal (touch my hole).
Q: What do you call a noodle that commits identity theft?
A: An impasta!
A: Maryland and Misury
Yo momma so stupid, she tried to mail a letter using food stamps.
He wanted to make a big splash in front of his class.
Q: How did Hitler tie his shoes?
A: In little Nazis.
Yo mama is so dark that she was riding a motorcycle and got a ticket for tinted windows!
A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?" The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia who stayed up all night wondering if there really is a dog?
Q: Which pet makes the most noise?
A: A trumpet.