Last Tuesday as President Bush
Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.

The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, Sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi."

The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Excellent trade, sir."
Category: Age


A new and inexperienced waitress
A new and inexperienced waitress tells another waitress she is concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them.

The other waitress explains that tray stands are placed throughout the restaurant. The nervous beginner serves all her lunches successfully, and afterwards asks an elderly couple if everything has been all right.

"It was fine, dear," replies the man, "but my wife and I have to leave now. Could she please have her walker back?"
Category: Age


Blonde as a MotherMy family
Blonde as a Mother

My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.

He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label: "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."
Category: Age


No flight ever leaves on
No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.

If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.

If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.

If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.

The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.

The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard
Category: Age


Q What do giraffes have
Q: What do giraffes have that no other animal has?
A: Baby giraffes.
Category: Age


A mother and a baby
A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?"

The mother replied, "Well son, when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand."

Two minutes later the young camel asked, "Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?"

They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert," the mother said.

"Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?"

"They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods of time."

"So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water."

"Yes dear," said the mother.

"So why are we in the San Diego Zoo?"
Category: Age


Q Mrs Bigger had a
Q: Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger?
A: The baby. It was a little Bigger.
Category: Age


A father believed that his
A father believed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son...

"When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

Without looking up from his game, the boy pointed out, "When Lincoln was your age, he was The President of The United States."
Category: Age


A child in class when
A child in class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a picture in which Mary and the baby sat on a recognisably donkeyish steed, led by Joseph. on the ground nearby lay a black blob.

"What is that?" asked the teacher. "The flea," answered the artist.

"What flea, dear?" asked the puzzled teacher.

"The one the Angel told Joseph to take."

Eventually, puzzled but not liking to challenge an imaginative child, the teacher checked out her Bible. And there it was : Matthew 2:13 "......the angel of the Lord saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt..........."
Category: Age


There were three Indian squaws
There were three Indian squaws. One slept on deer skin; another slept on elk skin; the third slept on the skin of a hippopotamus. All three became pregnant. Each of the first two had a baby boy. The one who slept on hippo skin had twin boys. This proves that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
Category: Age