Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
Because he was hit by a bus.
How do you stop a ginger from drowning?
You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.
Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor? Because he had no arms or legs. Why? Because he is a potato.
a blonde a brunette and a redhead all went hunting.
After setting up camp the brunette went out and came back with a deer. They said "wow how did you get that?" She said "I followed the tracks and BOOM I shot it".
The redhead went out and came back with a moose. The other two said "Wow! How did you get that?!" She said "I followed the tracks and BOOM, I shot it"
The blonde went out and came back all scratched up and bloody they said "Wow! What happened?!?!" and she said "I followed the tracks and BOOM I got hit by a train!"
A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?
I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
we are both lawyers
California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as Pino More
Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.