Definitions from The College DictionaryCafeteria
Definitions from The College Dictionary

Cafeteria: From 2 Latin words, "cafe" meaning place to eat and "teria" meaning to wretch.

Major: Area of study that no longer interest you.

Student Athlete: See "contraction in terms."

Grade: Unrealistic and limited measure of academic accomplishment.

Summer School: A viable alternative to a summer job.

Quarter: The most coveted form of currency on campus.

Hunger: Condition produced by five minutes of continuous studying.
Category: College


On the first day of
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:

"How much for a season pass?"
Category: College


What do you say to
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?
Coagulations!
Category: College


On the first day of
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"
Category: College


Q What do you say
Q: What do you say to a vampire when he graduates from college?
A: Coagulations!
Category: College


Two storks on a nest
Two storks on a nest, a father stork and baby stork. Baby is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."
The next night, its fathers turn to do the job.
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."
A few days later, the stork parents are desperate, their son is gone from the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask their son where he had been all night. Says the baby stork, "Awww, just scaring the hell out of college kids!"
Category: College


A college physics professor was
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.

"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.

"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.

A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"

The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
Category: College


What do you call a
What do you call a musician with a college degree?
Night manager at McDonalds.
Category: College