Teacher Kidswhat does the chicken

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


A recent worldwide survey showed

A recent worldwide survey showed that out of 2,146,703,436 people, 94% were too lazy to actually read that number.

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


You are on a horse

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


A doctor reaches into his

A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


A 3 years old boy

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


Q What did the green

Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: "Breathe, stupid!"

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


In the beginning God created

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China.

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


Why is it that your

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


Two men visit a prostitute

Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "Heck. My wife is better than that." The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, "You know? Your wife IS better."

Category: Miscellaneous jokes


If you ever fart in

If you ever fart in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.

Category: Miscellaneous jokes