Reaching the end of a

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

Category: Office jokes


An organization is like a

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Category: Office jokes


A doctor reaches into his

A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Oh, damn it," he proclaims, "Some asshole has my pen!"

Category: Office jokes


Three doctors are discussing which

Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, 'I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.' Doctor Fitzpatrick says, 'I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.' Doctor Ahn says, 'I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.'

Category: Office jokes


What do lawyers use as

What do lawyers use as contraceptives? Their personalities.

Category: Office jokes


What do your boss and

What do your boss and a slinky have in common? They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

Category: Office jokes


What do you have when

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

Category: Office jokes


An infinite crowd of mathematicians

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

Category: Office jokes


Why was the lawyer skimming

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!

Category: Office jokes


I love pressing F5 It

I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

Category: Office jokes