Q What did the blonde
Q: What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant?
A: "Is it mine?"
Category: Profession


Defensive Driving CourseOne of my
Defensive Driving Course

One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a police officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began.

Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?"

The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."

The officer let him in.
Category: Profession


Yo mama so fat that
Yo mama so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years to live.
Category: Profession


I stole a futon from
I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have beenlying low.
Category: Profession


Blonde as a MotherMy family
Blonde as a Mother

My family physician told me of an incident that actually happened to him back in the early days of his practice.

He said a woman brought her baby to see him, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label: "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."
Category: Profession


No matter how much the
No matter how much the government fights it, organized crime just seems to get more organized every day. The police pulled in a Mob kingpin recently and reminded him he had the right to make a phone call.
"Just fax the arrest report to my lawyer," the mobster said calmly.
Category: Profession


A young boy walked up
A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?"

The father thought for a moment. "Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."
Category: Profession


Doctor I have bad news
Doctor: I have bad news for you. You only have 10 left to live.

Patient: Ten what?

Doctor: Nine. Eight...
Category: Profession


Returning home from work a
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman.
Category: Profession


For undercover police work Chuck
For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
Category: Profession