Chuck Norris invented the boltaction
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
Category: Sports


If I hit a baseball
If I hit a baseball and it rolled under the fence and was eaten by a pig, what would it be called as?

An inside the pork home-run.
Category: Sports


After eight days of backpacking
After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.

"Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
Category: Sports


After eight days of backpacking
After eight days of backpacking with my wife, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morning she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.

"Darling," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you promise not to charge?"
Category: Sports


What did the football say
What did the football say to the football player?
I get a kick out of you.
Category: Sports


A middle aged man goes
A middle aged man goes into the doctor's office for a check-up with a litany of complaints. The doctor speaks to the man’s wife alone and says, "There is nothing the matter with your husband. If you make a couple of meals for him a day, let him watch his sports. Do not complain to him too much or require him to listen. Limit his exposure to in-laws and make love to him once a week. Then, he’ll probably live another 20 years." She returns to her husband’s side in the waiting room. He asks, "What did the doctor tell you?"
"You are going to be dying soon, my dear."
Category: Sports


Q What did the football
Q: What did the football say to the football player?
A: I get a kick out of you.
Category: Sports


Louisville Slugger makes professional baseball
Louisville Slugger makes professional baseball bats from kiln dried Chuck Norris turds.
Category: Sports


The couple had been debating
The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.

He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look !" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. "And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."

For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Services are pending.
Category: Sports


What do you call a
What do you call a crab that plays baseball?
A pinch hitter.
Category: Sports